Have you ever had one of those weeks where nothing overtly goes wrong but nothing seems to be going right? That has been my week this week. Last week was glorious, wonderful, dare I say perfect. Ian and I got so much breakthrough both together and personally, God did some major work in both of our hearts, it was a beautiful thing. This week was like the unexpected spring storm, you know the kind that comes out of nowhere on a beautiful clear day.
I am not so naïve to believe that there are the occasional bad days, on the contrary, I am usually on the look out for them. I don’t even know if I would say that this was a “bad” week, just one that I don’t want to re-live any time soon. There have been a list of things that have happened this week that has caused doubt to come in my heart and question many things that I know, that I know are true. Things about who I am and who God is. Thankfully, I have a husband who loves me to pieces and will pray over me and tell me who it is God has created me to be.
On a lighter slightly grosser note, this week has been full of physical examples of my spiritually and emotionally poop-y week. Since choosing to do cloth diapers at home with Judah I feel like we have mishaps more often than we would if I used disposable diapers all the time. On Monday while nursing Judah pooped and after a few minutes I thought, you know I should probably check to make sure he isn’t leaking. By this time poop had poured out of his diaper, on to my side and our nice Egyptian cotton sheets. Two days later my boy who just about never pees while I change him, unloaded once again all over our bed. One thing I love about my son is he already seems to be a “go big or go home” kind of guy; so today while holding him in my lap after nursing him he pooped on me yet again but this time I was well covered from the waist down (I was sitting indian style on our couch).
The two times before today I wasn’t really phased by the accidents. I know that babies pee and poop and a little getting on me doesn’t seem like a big deal but for some reason today I had an odd mixed reaction of tears and laughter. It was like the smooth creamy icing on top of everything. The great thing is though, like the poop that was all over me earlier, bad stuff may happen in life but you don’t have to remain covered by it. Just because I questioned my identity or felt far from God this week doesn’t mean I have to stay there in the “poop”. It is my choice to press forward and “clean up” per se. To “shower” myself in the Word of God and what it is He is speaking to me. Thank you Lord for making me remain in the poop.
Another thing that helps you get over something so gross is this…
nothing feels better than a baby passed out on your chest after a hard day.
How has your week been? Hopefully, not as messy as mine.
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