Somehow we have made it to the end of April, I feel like we just arrived here and now we are about to give way to May. Have you ever had weeks, months or even years go by like that? It is as if you look up and you suddenly there is so much time that has gone. If I am being honest I could say that about my life since Zealand arrived or maybe even since Ian stepped into it. There has been beauty and torment, moments when I want to hit fast forward through and others that if I could pause and hold on to I most absolutely would. When I look at my life and the bulk of my decisions I have one thread that ties them all together and that is the Thread of Legacy. My fight and grit comes from my intrinsic desire to leave a powerful legacy, one that is worthy of honor.
Recently I was going through old journals and I found this gem:
10 February 2010
It’s not about me. It is about my children’s children’s children and even beyond that. We are not to live for today or even for tomorrow but we are to live in such a way to prosper GENERATIONS to come. To live for yourself is to flip the bird to your great-grandchildren. If you can’t do it for you, do it for them. Show them that you love them by being who God intended you to be so they can so surpass you in the Kingdom. Set your future generations up for success.
Not everyone’s standards are going to be the same and that is okay. God has so many facets that you can’t expect everything to be as you have it. Even if the way you are doing it is how you just know God told you to do it. There is no perfect self help book or life manual for the whole world. We are not a cookie cutter creation. We each are uniquely formed and God breathed. We serve a creative God not a dull, flat line, nothing new God. His thoughts for us outnumber the sands that cover the earth and the cool thing about sand is, new sand is always being created meaning His thoughts for us are new and ever growing. Our God is so VAST! Our little minds can’t comprehend it so we may even question if He can possibly be real but then there is something inside of us that just knows and we can’t shake God. He is not a figment of our imagination. We are not smart enough to create such a vast, beautiful, perfect God. He is way more than we could ever imagine.
We will never be who we are called to be if we live for ourselves. We live on earth physically but our mentality should be heavenly, which means everything is backwards. To be first we must become last. To gain we must give. Living a life of sacrifice in order to be fulfilled. It doesn’t seem logical but its true. The saying “Its better to give than to receive” is not just a random saying your grandma made up but it is a Biblical truth.
These words are precisely why I have determination to not turn away from the hard but to press into the mess and find the gold in the muck, I have chosen to allow the pressures of life to do its work so I am left as a radiant diamond, a treasure for my family to cherish for generations. By no means is it easy but when you put purpose to your pain it becomes far easier to withstand. Before marriage or the thought of kids of my own my purpose was to honor my parents well and to set an example for my nieces. When Ian showed up my purpose intensified and multiplied.
They give every ounce of pain in the pursuit of healing a purpose.
One last thing this song was a go to for me for a number of years and has recently been on repeat in my mind. “I want to leave a legacy. How will they remember me? Did I choose to love?” Take a moment to listen to it and think of your legacy.