Last time on Minute Monday I talked about my desire for 2018 to be a year of intentionality for myself. Well intentionality can only fully happen when self-evaluation has happened. The first thing that I have decided to take under advisement is if I am a thermometer or a thermostat. When I first heard Kris Vallotton ask that question I didn’t immediately see the differentiation but as he went on it all became clear. (you can read his thoughts here and here) A thermometer reads the temperature of the room and a thermostat sets the temperature. To evaluate if I just read the room and adapt to it or if I am bold and set the atmosphere before me is something I haven’t wanted to fully give myself to because with close examination I am not sure I have done either well lately. As a mom being a thermometer is often easy to do allowing my kids foul attitude turn my day sour or having their laughter wash over me a place joy in my heart. (Lets be honest it is usually the latter) Plus often times when I do find myself setting the atmosphere it isn’t one I am proud of, more and more our home has been filled with anger and agitation instead of peace and joy.
As I sit here typing this out I can’t help but laugh at that last sentence, not because I am proud of my actions but of the scripture Holy Spirit brought to mind. When I first had Judah, our oldest son I was intentional about reading scripture and meditating on verses as I nursed in the night (I would probably be better off now if I had kept that up). One scripture I felt compelled to memorize was Psalm 37:8 which states: Refrain from anger and give up your rage; do not be agitated—it can only bring harm. When the prompting came to memorize that particular scripture I was puzzled, I thought maybe it was for Ian because anger didn’t resonate with me at that time. (and hey, by the way, God doesn’t have you memorize scripture FOR someone else, especially your spouse).
[Baby Judah milk drunk — little did I know what those scriptural meditations and this boy (and others) would lead to]
Little did I know 6 years ago that out of all the wonderful emotions motherhood brought me it also would leave anger at my doorstep. For years I dismissed it as little annoyances or agitations but as the years have ticked on rage has boiled up to the surface of my heart. Never in a million years did I see myself becoming an angry mom but you know what I have and it is something I am being diligent to work on. I am grateful that all those moons ago God knew I would need Psalm 37:8 to help prune and guide me.
Is there an emotion or quality that is having a negative impact on you that you are struggling with? Are you setting the “temperature” when you go places or are you allowing the world around you to dictate where you are emotionally?
My prayer today friend is that you and I would be so incredibly filled with love and peace that wherever we go the atmosphere around us would reflect it.