For years I begged for the tears to flow and they never would, now sitting here tonight I wonder why in the world I would ever beg God for the ability to cry. Tears flow now, when I am happy, when I am sad, when I see a baptism (even if it is of a complete stranger) and tonight for reasons I am unsure of. Some might blame the tears on the fact that I am a girl and girls cry or because I am pregnant and it is normal for emotions to run high but I am not convinced. It is as though my spirit has caught wind of something before the rest of me has. I feel grieved in a way I can not explain and I have this gripping fear of what is to come. Continue reading
Since the end of summer I feel like my life has been set on fast forward with moments of that jumpy VHS pause. There have been days where getting out of bed has been the victory of my day; dishes, laundry and straightening up have been far from priority (sorry, babe). I have had glimpses of breakthrough followed by days of what feels like an endless downward spiral. I can not exactly put my finger on what is causing all of the insanity other than that is sometimes just how life is.